How to Stop Caring About What Others Think?
Whether you want to admit it or not, you cannot tell me that it is easy for you to stop caring about what others think of you.
Per human psychology and behaviors based on evolution, the need to be liked is crucial to survival (well that last part is not as true anymore).
Think about it, if the other cavemen thought poorly of you, they would most likely leave you behind. This would make it much more difficult to survive. If they thought highly of you though, you would have a team and possibly one day become the leader of your group.
Although we have come a long way since cavemen’s days, we still have the mentality of wanting others to like us. This is why it is so hard to stop caring. It is bred into us from thousands of years ago.
I will say, while it is good to want to be liked, your life becomes much better when you stop caring so much. Once you start finding yourself, the people who need to be in your life will flock to you!
There are many ways to stop it what others think of you, but below are some of the core pieces of the puzzle.
9 Ways to Stop Caring About What Others Think of You
1. Keep yourself busy
Keeping your mind occupied with hobbies you enjoy will make it much easier to stop caring what others think. Why is this? Because idle minds breed bad thoughts.
When you are engrossed in an activity you enjoy, you are happy and not focused on the opinion of others.
2. Understand it’s them and not you
Humans judge others based on their internal feelings. If you feel insecure and negative about yourself, are you more apt to think positive thoughts about another person or pick them apart?
It is human nature to judge them when you are judging yourself.
Most of the time when someone has a problem with you, it is a reflection of what they have a problem with about themselves.
If someone is judging the way you look, it is most likely because they are insecure about the way you look. Bringing you down helps them to feel better about themselves.
It is easier to bring others down than to work on bettering yourself.
3. Surround yourself with people of the same mindset
People who think alike tend to act alike. Surrounding yourself with people who think like you make you feel more confident in who you are as a person.
You feel validated, understood, and like you matter. That is what everyone wants, isn’t it?
If you have a group of people who you know love you and agree with you, what does it matter to you that people you do not want to associate with think less of you?
4. Realize people do not think about you as much as you think
Something my mother used to tell me growing up was, “People love to talk about themselves.” Being worried about the opinion of others is usually a waste of time because nine times out of ten they barely even think of you.
It sounds harsh, but unless you are directly involved with them, most people are too wrapped up in what is going on in their own lives to worry or care about what you are doing.
5. Stop caring and put yourself first
Why does everyone else in your life need to come before you? Why can you not say no? Do you understand just how freeing it is to say no to people when you do not want to do something?
If you take anything away from this article, take this right here. Saying no is the best way to stop caring what others think of you.
You will fall in love with putting yourself first, the stress will immediately dissipate, and you will feel a sense of freedom in your heart because you allowed yourself to do what you want to do.
It feels weird at first, sure. That feeling goes away quickly when you start to realize how great you feel about yourself after.
6. Refuse to react to their opinions
It will show them you don’t care, but it will also train them to not care. This is called “growing duck feathers” by letting their reactions, positive and negative, slide right off of you.
The purpose is not reacting to what others think of you is to help you understand why caring about what you think of yourself is the most important part of your mental health.
7. Try to not judge others
If you focus on being more positive about others, you will stop assuming others think the worst of you. It is a habit that takes time to break, but if you can immediately correct that judgment, it becomes more natural to think positively about everyone.
Make it a goal to compliment everyone you come in contact with. It will make them feel more confident and you will see that making others feel better will raise your confidence in yourself. Which means you will stop so much about what others think of you.
8. Ask yourself why you want them to like you so much
Why does their validation mean so much to you? Is it because of something deeper? Do you want them to fill a void that you cannot fill yourself? Unfortunately, you will be forever trying to fill that void, if so.
Figuring out why you want them to like you so much will help you to figure out the work you need to do on yourself.
Whether it is insecurities, bettering your performance at work, or becoming more confident in the gym, you will have to find a way to stop caring and be happy with who you are.
No one will ever be able to fill that void for long amounts of time, only you.
9. Are you happy with what you are doing?
If so, that is all that matters. At the end of the day, they do not have to live your life, you do.
Conclusion
If you focus on the fear of being hurt or judged by others, you will suffer. You deserve to be free from the worry of what others think of you.
Teaching yourself how to not have your worth be validated on others’ opinions is one of the greatest steps to growth and bettering your mental health.
Can you imagine? One day you will be able to live your life with no worries! You can do what you want and be happy with it. That the idea of what people in your life think of you no longer controls you. To recap, you can do so by:
- Keeping yourself busy
- Understanding it has nothing to do with you
- Surrounding yourself with others who think like you
- Realizing you are not people’s priority
- Putting yourself first
- Refusing to react to their opinions
- Trying to not judge others
- Realizing why you want them to like you so much
- Figuring out if you are happy with the life you are living
One of the biggest regrets of those dying was caring too much about what others thought. How much are you letting this fear hold you back from in life? It is time to stop caring.
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I obtained my Bachelor's of Psychology in 2017 and Masters of Social Work in 2019. I currently work in private practice as a trauma therapist.