How to Deal with Loneliness
Whether you just broke up with the love of your life, moved to a new city, or feel like you have no one on your side, it is almost guaranteed that loneliness will eventually creep up. Dealing with these feelings can lead to depression, low self-esteem, and some late-night text messages we are not proud of (am I right?)
Have no fear! There are many ways to deal with it healthily and productively! These coping mechanisms can end up finding you different types of happiness you never thought possible!
1. Learn a new skill
It is brought on by not feeling good enough to be alone with yourself. So, teach yourself a skill that is challenging to you. Not only is it something that keeps your brain occupied, but it also builds your confidence. Learning a new skill can lead to many other opportunities for you. These could be health and/or monetary benefits you add to your life. Having something that makes you feel worthy will kill it in a heartbeat.
Different types of skills to teach yourself:
- Woodworking
- Trading in the stock market
- Sewing
- Crocheting or knitting
- Cooking
- Weightlifting
- Graphic design
- Public speaking
- Flipping furniture
- Writing
2. Meditation and journaling
If you are starting to feel lonely and cannot get the bad thoughts out, the best thing you can do is to get that junk out of your head.
Think of it as a giant zit. The loneliness, pain, unhappiness…it all builds up and becomes more painful as time goes on. Then when you pop it and get that junk out, there is relief and it does not seem to hurt near as much. That is what journaling and meditation do for the build-up in your head.
3. Exercise
Exercise is the only proven way to naturally help with any type of mental illness, loneliness, or unhappiness. This is because of the endorphins it releases for you.
It does not matter what kind of exercise you do to have endorphins released. It can be walking, yoga, weightlifting, CrossFit, or whatever you enjoy doing. Just get your body moving. It will distract you and get you out of your funk. Then it will have you feeling better about yourself afterward.
4. Go out with friends
If you are feeling lonely and think you are going to text your ex, you should text your friends instead! But for real, when you feel lonely, it is very difficult to want to go out and be with anyone. Does it make sense? No. Does it happen? All the time. It is super annoying.
That being said, it only sucks until you are out and about. Then your brain gets distracted enough from the bad feelings and before you know it, you will be enjoying yourself.
5. Keep your hands (and your mind) busy
My dad’s most famous saying growing up was, “idle minds breed bad thoughts.” Well, the same goes for idle hands. If you fail to keep yourself busy, you will fail to break free from the loneliness. It is really tough.
As mentioned earlier, when you are starting to feel lonely and the depression kicks in, it is difficult to get yourself to do anything. Keeping yourself busy is hard to do when you are in the middle of an episode. If you can force yourself to do something productive, you will be very surprised at how accomplished you will feel though!
Keeping busy takes away from self-pity and negativity. It helps you to focus on things that will better yourself instead of helping you hinder yourself.
6. Practice positive affirmations
Some people fully believe in the power of positive affirmations, while others think they are cheesy. If you believe in them and practice them every day, keeping yourself in that mindset, they do start to work. Some of the best positive affirmations to combat loneliness:
- I know my worth
- I only attract relationships that build me up
- I deserve to be the first priority
- I am my first priority
- My life is filled with all good things
- I welcome alone time
- I deserve to be happy
- I will not settle for less than I deserve
- I am in control of if I have a bad day
- I am at peace with my life
Conclusion
Loneliness is one of those things in life that can alter the way you live your life. It can go one of two ways. It can be used as a crutch or an excuse to feel sorry for yourself. You may tell yourself that you cannot be happy unless you have another person to lean on. This is a sign of low self-esteem and a lack of trust in yourself.
Or you can use the loneliness to empower yourself. Learning to love being alone can be one of the most powerful things you could do in your life. This is where you get the opportunity to learn who you are and fall in love with yourself.
Deal with it healthily by:
- Teaching yourself a new skill
- Practicing meditation and journaling
- Doing regular exercise
- Going out with your friends
- Keeping your hands and mind busy
- Using positive affirmations daily
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I obtained my Bachelor's of Psychology in 2017 and Masters of Social Work in 2019. I currently work in private practice as a trauma therapist.